Ungrateful
by nurdgurl714
Summary: Ryan saves Horatio's life, but finds himself in the middle of a gang war. Will Horatio be able to return the favor, or is there something else gong on? Feelings of resentment arise, relationships are threatened. Is there room for forgiveness?
1. Chapter 1

Sweat dripped into Ryan's eyes, but he didn't dare blink. He focused in on his target, his finger poised on the trigger of his Beretta; ready to shoot at any moment. But he couldn't; not with his mentor and boss standing in the way with a Glock at his temple.

"Mr. Wolfe, get out of here now! That's an order," Horatio barked in his most intimidating and commanding voice. Ryan was no stranger to it, but he had never been on the receiving end of it, not even when he deliberately fixed a case, or gambled with a suspect, or any of the other frequent mishaps in his career as a CSI.

"Listen to your boss little man," Memmo jeered. "We don't want this to get ugly."

"It got ugly when you escaped from prison." _Again._ How the hell does a prisoner escape from the same prison _twice_, to go on killing spree? The incompetence of Miami West Correctional Facility was unbelievable. _Almost._ It was run by some of Horatio's enemies, who refused to take his advice and send Memmo to a supermax facility; not when there was money to be made.

"I'll give you one last chance to get lost. Horatio and I need to handle some business."

"I don't think so Memmo. This ends here. Today. Your precious reign over the _Mala Noche_ is over; times up. Any last words?"

"_Pequeno puta_!" Memmo exclaimed. It gave Ryan the opening he needed, as Memmo's gun shifted away from Horatio's temple.

Bang! Bang! Bang! Three shots rang out and Memmo was on the ground. Horatio had slipped out of his grip only moments before; he knew exactly what Ryan was going to do. It was as if he could read Ryan's mind.

Ryan walked over to Memmo's lifeless body. He surveyed his shots; one in the right eye, one between the eyes and one directly above that one. When did his aim get so good?

"Mr. Wolfe." Horatio had touched Ryan's arm and he flinched, startled out of his own thoughts.

"Huh? H?"

"Mr. Wolfe, I need your gun." Horatio said calmly, soothingly.

"Oh, Ok." Ryan put the safety on and handed Horatio his gun.

"H! H!" They heard Eric call. He appeared over the hill with Frank and at least a dozen other uniforms.

"You got him H?" Eric said, staring down ad Memmo's dead body, which was forming a pool of blood around his head, like a red halo.

"No Eric, I didn't shoot him. Mr. Wolfe shot him."

A strange look crossed Eric's face. "What?"

"You heard me Eric. Ryan shot Memmo and he…" Horatio paused, hesitating to finish his statement. "…he saved my life."

Eric turned to face Ryan. "Wolfe?"

Ryan stood there, motionless. "Wolfe? Wolfe? You with us?" Eric waved his hand in front of Ryan. Ryan could hear Eric but his voice was muffled…so far away.

Calleigh had arrived. Her voice was far away too. She was speaking to Eric in low tones, Ryan could make out some of the words "…shock…fatal…adjust…psych…"

Ryan felt himself floating towards an ambulance, guided by a strong but gentle arm. Calleigh. Dr. Loman was in his face, shining a penlight in his eyes.

"Ryan? Can you hear me Ryan?"

Ryan nodded slowly, focusing on the doctor. He still sounded far away, even though he was standing right in front of him. Charcoal suit, blue shirt, creamy hands, with fine red hairs, Ryan raised his head, and stared into Horatio's eyes, Horatio was speaking, his lips were moving and Ryan heard the drawl of his deep voice but he couldn't make out what he was saying.

The doctor was talking back, louder, more rapidly but he couldn't understand him either. He was so tired…so, so, tired. Maybe he should take a nap, yes that sounded perfect…

He woke up in a hospital bed hook up to an IV. He was extremely thirsty. His movement stirred the other person in the room. Red hair, charcoal suit, blue shirt: Horatio.

"Mr. Wolfe," Horatio's voice was no longer far away. It was as smooth and deep as ever. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty, confused. What happened? Why am I here?"

Horatio didn't answer right away, he poured some water from a pitcher and placed a straw in the cup before handing it to Ryan, but he couldn't hold it. His hands were shaking too badly.

"Here, let me help you." Horatio put his hand over Ryan's and help the straw to his lips. Ryan drank appreciatively.

"H, why am I here? I wasn't shot was I?"

"No Mr. Wolfe, you weren't shot. You are suffering from an Acute Stress Reaction."

"Shock? Why? What happened? Wait a minute…" It all came back at once, the bright Miami sun, sweat dripping into his eyes, Horatio ordering him to leave, Memmo….

_Memmo. He shot Memmo. He, Ryan Wolfe, the team screw up, shot and killed Memmo Fierro, leader of the Mala Noche. How the hell did that happen?_

"You were involved in a shooting," Horatio answered.

"Yeah, I remember. Memmo had a gun to your head and I…" he tailed off again. Had he saved Horatio's life?

"Yes Mr. Wolfe, you shot him. You shot him and ended his reign of terror over Miami."

"But the Mala Noche-"

"Is in chaos. Lower ranking members will be struggling for the top spot."

"What about retaliation-"

"I don't want you to worry about that Mr. Wolfe. I want you to rest and recover."

Ryan laid back and sighed. "Ok. Are you staying here?"

"Of course I am."

" 'Kay," Ryan sighed as his eyes closed again.

Horatio heard a familiar, but unwelcome voice outside. He stepped outside and motioned for an officer to sit in the room while he dealt with his arch nemesis on the police report.

"What do you want Rick?" Horatio demanded. _Why is Frank out here with him? _ He wondered to himself.

"I've come to check on Wolfe."

"Bull. You're going to try and harangue a statement out of him."

"No Horatio, I'm not. I am aware that he went into shock after the shooting. I was just wondering how he was feeling."

Horatio narrowed his eyes. There had to be an ulterior motive. There was _always _an ulterior motive with Rick.

"I repeat. _What do you want?_" Horatio's tone had grown sharp.

Rick was taken aback. "Horatio, Ryan risked his life and brought down the most dangerous gang member in Miami, and saved your life in the process." Horatio flinched. "I simply came to see how he was doing."

"He's recovering. He should be ready for release after 24 hours of observation. Now you can leave."

Rick sighed, not feeling like arguing with Horatio in the hospital. "Keep me updated on his condition." He nodded to Frank. "Tripp." Frank nodded.

"What was that about?" Horatio demanded after Rick left.

"Well, he left like ten messages on my cell and desk asking about Ryan. I finally called and told him he could check on him but no IA crap in the hospital."

Horatio's face was unreadable but his mind was spinning. "I see."

"How is Wolfe anyway?" Frank asked, desperate to change the subject.

"He's recovering; groggy but more aware than he was after the shooting."

"Alright, just came to check on him. Calleigh's running ballistics and the boys are working on a computer simulation of the shooting."

"Thank you Frank."

"No problem. See ya." Frank did a quick wave and left.

When he got to his car he took out a phone and dialed a number.

"So what did he say? Do you think he suspects us?"

"Nah. Just wanted to know why we were there together. Told him you were bugging the hell out of me for a statement and I went along to make sure you didn't start anything."

"Well I guess that will do. You coming by?"

"You got my beer?"

"Of course."

"Ok, see you in thirty."


	2. Chapter 2

"H, I'm fine. If I stay home today I'll die of boredom."

Horatio studied his protégé carefully. He had wanted Ryan to take the day off to relax and not have to deal with the stress of IA or others in his face wanting to know what happened. But he knew Ryan was way too restless for that; and Horatio resolved to keep a close eye on Ryan.

The first thing that Ryan had to deal with when he arrived at the lab was Rick. He had to give his statement, which turned out to be relatively painless. No mind games, no twisting his words. He gave his version of what happened, Rick asked a few clarifying questions and that was it.

"Hey Ryan," Walter greeted as he walked up to Ryan. "Have you seen the computer reenactment yet?"

"No I haven't."

"What are you waiting for? C'mon! Me and Benton worked on it all night."

Ryan followed Walter into the AV lab, which was crammed with detectives, officers, and lab techs.

"OK Benton, pull it up."

Benton pressed a button and a simulation popped up. "Ok you are in blue, Horatio is in green and Memmo is in red."

Ryan looked at the screen, he saw himself with his gun drawn, right foot forward, leaning in. He blinked hard, remembering the sweat stinging his eyes. He could hear his heart thumping in his chest, and feel his pulse racing, it was happening all over again.

"Ryan? Yo Ryan!" Walter waved his hands.

"Oh yeah, sorry about that. Go ahead."

" So according to how we found Memmo he must have had his arm around Horatio's neck-"

"Nope," Ryan cut Walter off. "It was more like this… come here Walter…" Ryan tried to demonstrate the hold on Walter, but he was way too tall and big. "…never mind you're too gangly…come here Robinson…" he motioned to a lab tech that was about his size."It was more like this."

"Really? Ouch," Walter commented.

"Did you get H's statement?" Ryan asked Walter and Benton.

"Long story," Walter answered. "Anyway, Benton, change the angle of Memmo's hold on H."

Benton adjusted the angle. "Ok Ryan is that better?" Ryan nodded. "He was holding a Glock, right?"

"Yeah."

Benton pushed a button and the simulation of Memmo raised a gun to Horatio's head. Ryan sucked in his breath, so low so that no one else heard it…he hoped.

"And then Memmo shifts his gun away from H's head. Something broke his focus. A certain someone probably made one of his smart ass comments." Walter said, grinning at Ryan.

Ryan shrugged. "Well you know me."

"All too well. Well anyway, here's my favorite part…here it comes…"

_Bang! Bang! Bang! _Ryan's model fired three shots into Memmo's head, followed by an 'Oh!' from the gathering crowd.

"Did you see that one right through his eye? Then between the eye? Damn Wolfe, that's hella aim," Walter complimented.

"Guys, it wasn't like that," Ryan started modestly, suddenly very embarrassed. "Well it was, but it wasn't."

"I smell commendation," Walter predicted.

"Nah, no way," Ryan said. "I didn't do anything that you guys wouldn't have done."

"I don't know anyone who could have gotten a shot off like that," Walter insisted. "Except H; and maybe Calleigh."

"Did someone call my name?" Calleigh asked, walking up.

"Yeah, we were just discussing Ryan's incredible aim."

"Walter-" Ryan started.

"No he's right," Calleigh agreed. "Ryan you should be proud. The chief is looking for you."

Ryan frowned. "What now?"

"Probably that commendation I was talking about eh Wolfe?" Walter insisted.

Ryan sighed and trudged towards the elevator. As he made his way to the chief's office, he only half-listened as the chief congratulated him on his 'rescuing' of Horatio. Boy, if H had heard that he would have hit the roof.

"Wolfe? Did you hear what I just said?"

"Huh? Oh yeah…yes sir."

"So you accept the commendation?"

There was no point in arguing. Everyone had insisted that he'd earned it. "Yes sir."

"Good. There will be a ceremony at the end of the month."

"Yes sir."

"Good. That will be all."

Ryan left. On the way back to the lab, he passed by Horatio, who barely looked at him.

"Mr. Wolfe."

"Hello H. Did you need anything?"

"No, not at this time."

"OK." Ryan kept walking, burning with rage. Horatio was ignoring him again, nothing new there. He was fooling himself, thinking that things may have changed just because of what happened. If anything, this will have pushed them further apart. Horatio was an extremely proud man, and the thought of someone 'saving' him must have been a tremendous blow to his ego. Lost in his train of thought, he bumped straight into Eric.

"Oh Delko, sorry about that."

"Well if it isn't our latest hero," Eric sneered, not attempting to hide his contempt al all.

"What are you talking about Delko?" Ryan sighed.

"You know what I'm talking about. You take down one bad guy and suddenly you're cop of the year. And you girlfriend Erica Sykes is outside. I'll bet you called her didn't you? Just what you need, another opportunity to get in front of a camera," Eric ranted.

"What the hell is your problem?" Ryan demanded.

"You know what? Just forget it. Stay out of my way Wolfe," Eric growled as he stormed past Ryan, leaving him totally puzzled. Eric was jealous? Of _hm_. No, there had to be another explanation. Unless…

"Hey!" Ryan barked, putting his hand on Eric's shoulder and yanking him around. "What the hell is your problem? That scumbag Memmo was about to put a hole in Horatio's head and I shoot him and you're pissed at me?"

Eric was about to respond when suddenly it hit Ryan. "Wait a minute. So that's what this is about. You're mad because it was me and not you." Eric flinched. Ryan had hit the nail on the head.

"You know what Eric? You're a piece of work. I can't believe you would really be that petty. Does it matter if I shot him? All that should matter is that H is alive and Memmo is dead. But you can't get past that can you?"

Walter walked through the gathering crowd, of not so subtle people who had stopped what they were doing. "Ryan it's late. Let's head out a grab a beer."

"Yeah ok. Let me just stop by my locker." Ryan stalked off.

Walter found Ryan sitting on the bench in the locker room with his head in his hands. "Ryan, you ok?"

"Let's just get the hell out of here." But they were too late. Eric walked into the locker room as they were preparing to leave. They locked eyes, ready to go another round when they heard a soft, deep voice calling Eric's name. They turned to see Horatio standing in the doorway.

"Can we speak?"

"Sure thing H." Eric followed Horatio to the roof. Ryan wanted to get to the bottom of what was going on between them, so he promised to meet Walter at the bar and crept up to the roof.

"Eric, you shouldn't blame Ryan for what happened," Horatio was saying. "It's not his fault."

"Look H I know that. And I am glad he saved your life…but I just…" Eric trailed off, clenching his fists.

"Go on," Horatio encouraged, already knowing what Eric was going to say.

"It's just that Memmo killed Marisol, and I always thought it would be one of us to take him out. I know it's selfish, but I can't help the way I feel."

"Eric I want you to know I understand perfectly. I've had a tough time with this too, for the same reason as you, as well as for others. We both felt that vengeance against Memmo belonged to us but-"

They both turned towards the sound. Ryan had decided to make himself known.

"Wolfe? What the hell do you want?" Eric demanded.

"So now I see what this is about. This is about your sister."

Eric was about to go for Ryan but something stopped him. Ryan was flushed with anger, and his normally soft hazel eyes were a hard green. He was clenching and unclenching his fists.

"Mr. Wolfe-"

"Ryan! My name is Ryan, H. Don't know why you were never able to say it. I've been working with you for six years and I can count the number of times you've called me by my first name. Walter's been here a year, and I've never heard you call him Mr. Simmons."

Horatio stood silent, drinking in Ryan's accusations and surprised at Ryan's tone. No one on the force, especially not one of his staff had ever taken that tone with him.

"Mr. W-,…Ryan…perhaps you should take some time to calm down. Then we can talk about what you heard," Horatio decided.

"There's nothing to talk about H. I've heard all I needed to hear; and it cleared up a lot of things for me. You know what? I think I will take those days off after all, and then I'll see if night shift has an opening."

"Mr. Wolfe…Ryan, let's not act to rashly. I realize you're upset, but I don't want you do go and do something that you…we may regret later," Horatio said calmly, trying to diffuse the situation.

"Whatever. I'll get out of here and let you two continue with your family reunion," Ryan sneered and Horatio caught it. The years of frustration, the feeling of rejection and resentment, of feeling like an outsider; and it was all _his_ fault.

"Ryan, just a moment-"

"I said good night." Ryan turned on his heel and left.

There was a long stretch of silence between Eric and Horatio; each left to their own thoughts to reflect on their role in the situation.

"Caine?"

Horatio turned to see Rick.

"What is it?"

"I need a word in private."

"Not right now."

"Yes, right now Horatio. It's urgent."

Horatio took a deep breath, forcing himself to calm down as he followed Rick downstairs.

"What is so urgent?" Horatio demanded as he entered his office with Rick. "I have business to attend to."

"This concerns Wolfe, Horatio."

That got Horatio's attention. "What about him?"

Rick turned on his iPad and pulled up a mug shot. "This is Mateo Reyes, the new head of _Mala Noche._"

"I'm familiar with him."

"I see that you and Delko arrested him on drug and extortion charges, but his lawyer got him off. Anyway," Rick continued before Horatio could interject. "Our intel says that Mateo put a hit out on Wolfe."

Horatio looked up from the picture. "What did you say?"

"You heard me Horatio. We need to get Wolfe into protective custody immediately."

Horatio was already dialing Ryan's number. "It's going straight to voicemail." He stated as he rushed out the door. He dialed another number. "Eric, we've got trouble. We need to locate Ryan immediately. Mateo Reyes has a hit out on him. No he isn't answering my calls, and probably won't answer yours. Contact Walter and tell him to get to Ryan as soon as possible.

Horatio turned back to Rick, who was on his cell phone speaking to another officer, probably a detective or higher from the sound of it. "…get some of your boys on it….Ok talk to you soon." He hung up the phone. "We need to find Ryan as soon as possible. We've got officers headed to his house now."

"Ok, I'll meet them there."

~O~

Ryan sent Eric's call to voicemail, just as he had Horatio's. He didn't want to hear their explanations. He couldn't believe that they would both be so ungrateful for him saving Horatio's life. This was all about Horatio's late wife, who was Eric's sister. They were mad because it was _him_ that pulled the trigger, and not one of them. He knew what they did down in Brazil, although everyone in the department tried to pretend that they didn't. Wasn't that enough for them?

Of course not. Eric was bent of vengeance and Horatio had the biggest ego in Miami, hidden behind a humble façade.

Ryan looked at his phone. Now Walter was calling; probably trying to convince him to change his mind and meet him at the bar. But he didn't feel like it. He was going home, having a few stiff drinks and heading to bed.

It was dark so he didn't notice be black SUV without the headlights until it was too late. He had just stepped out of his car in front of his apartment when he spotted the dark tinted window sliding down and the gleam of a gun aimed at him. He reached to draw his gun, but he remembered that he didn't have it; Horatio hadn't given it back to him after the shooting.

It happened so fast. He felt the huge bite in his shoulder and then again in his chest and felt his insides explode, like they were on fire, burning from the inside out. Then he heard the explosion. Then he tasted the blood in his mouth, then the screeching of tires. Then everything went black.


	3. Chapter 3

"We have shots fired and an officer in need of assistance at…"

Horatio didn't even wait to hear the rest of the message. He turned his siren on and floored the pedal in the direction of Ryan's place.

"Get out of the way!" He shouted, shoving through the seemingly endless crowd of useless people, officers who seemed to be doing nothing other than standing around. When he finally reached Ryan, he gasped at what he saw.

There lay a shadow of his former team member, completely pale, covered in blood. Blood was coming from everywhere, his shoulder, his mouth and the hole in Ryan's chest that the EMTs quickly covered when Horatio approached.

"Ryan!" Horatio called to him. "Ryan? Who did this to you?" Horatio saw Ryan's lips moving.

"Lieutenant, we need to get him to the hospital-"

"Wait!" Horatio shouted. "He was trying to tell me…"

"Sir, he's unconscious. Any movement you see is involuntary. Now if you want to ride with us-"

Horatio didn't wait for her to finish. He was already climbing in the back of the ambulance.

"Ryan, you hang in there ok? Don't you give up on me. You're a fighter." Horatio kept a steady stream in Ryan's ear while the EMTs worked to keep him alive. "Ryan, I'm so sorry about all this. This is my fault, I should have protected you. I should have known that they would come after you. You saved my life and I let you down. I'm so, so sorry…"

Horatio's litany of guilt was interrupted by a series of beeps and flashes.

"What's going on?" Horatio demanded. "What's happening?"

"We're losing him sir. His pressure's dropping. It's too low and we can't do compressions because of the gunshot wound-"

"Ryan! You listen to me. Fight! Don't you give up on me Ryan! Fight Ryan! Fight! Don't you leave me now! Please!"

Horatio had never before felt so helpless. Out of all the people he had lost…so many…his mother, Speed, Ray, Marisol, Jesse… all because of _him. _ He just couldn't, couldn't lose Ryan, so he kept shouting, ordering Ryan to fight for his life, to not give up, to hang on. He knew it was pointless but…

"What's going on?" Horatio rasped, his voice hoarse and almost gone from shouting. "What's happening?"

"His blood pressure is coming back up. It's still much too low and weak but it's there. Keep talking to him," she encouraged.

"Ryan, hang in there please. Don't leave me. You can make it. Please don't give up on me. You're a fighter, Ryan. You're always there when I need you. You can't leave me now, not when I need you the most. Please Ryan, fight for me. I can't lose you, not now…" the words flowed forth, unbidden from Horatio. But he couldn't help himself. At this point he would do, or say anything to keep Ryan alive.

"Sir? We're here." The ambulance had come to a stop in front of the ER. A herd of doctors, nurses and other medical personnel were waiting for Ryan. They rushed them into the OR.

"Sir, excuse me, are you his next of kin?" Horatio turned to see a woman in scrubs with an iPad.

"Um no, I'm his supervisor. His family…" Horatio trailed off. It was then that he realized that he didn't know any of Ryan's family. He knew most of Eric's family, he was related to them. He knew Calleigh's parents and had even met a cousin of Walter's but didn't know anything about Ryan's next of kin.

"It says here that Horatio Caine is listed as an emergency contact in case his family can't be reached."

"I'm Horatio Caine."

"OK sir, if you could come with me and we'll try to get his next of kin notified…"

Her voice faded into the background as he spotted Walter running towards him with a cell phone in hand. "H, I've got his mother on the phone."

If there had ever been a moment where Horatio wanted to hug Walter, it was then.

"This is Lieutenant Caine."

"Lieutenant?" An elderly woman's soft voice spoke into the line.

"Yes ma'am."

"This is Sarah Wolfe, Ryan's mother. Walter told me what happened. Is Ryan ok? How's my boy?"

"Ma'am he's in surgery right now. They're going to take care of him."

"Ok.." he heard her voice crack. "What happened?"

"Ma'am he was shot in the line of duty, but he's going to be fine," he hurried to assure her at the sound of her faint gasp.

"Sir please, my husband and I are in a nursing home up here in Pensacola; he's on oxygen now and I can't get around too well. I don't know if they'll let us travel but maybe…"

"Mrs. Wolfe I don't want you to worry about that. I'll take care of things here," Horatio assured Ryan's mother.

"Ryan, he's a good boy. He comes to see us as often as he can, and he talks about you a lot. Will you take care of him? You will look after our boy for us?" Horatio could tell she was crying again, desperate to come and see her son, but not able.

"Mrs. Wolfe, I'll take care of everything. I won't leave Ryan's side until he's fully recovered. You have my word on that."

She sniffled into the phone. "Thank you lieutenant."

"Of course. Now I'm going to let you talk to the hospital staff." Horatio handed the phone to the woman with the iPad.

"Thanks Walter."

"Yeah, I got Ryan's cell from his car and looked up the number. I knew they were elderly but I didn't know they were in a nursing home H."

"Neither did I Ryan. No want you to go back to the scene and process with Calleigh and Eric. Leave NOTHING behind."

"We got it H."

"Good. I'm depending on you Walter. Keep me posted."

"Lieutenant?" The woman was off the phone.

"Yes?"

"I spoke to his mother and she authorized you to make all medical decisions on her and her husband's behalf. I need to sign this form and initial here." She handed him the stylus and he signed on the iPad, initialed and handed it back to her.

"How is he? When can I get an update?"

"Sir, he's in surgery now. They will send someone out to talk with you. I'll escort you to the family waiting room."

It was quiet in the waiting room, too quiet. He was the only one in there at the moment, alone to his thoughts. All he could think about how he had failed Ryan; allowing his stubborn pride get in the way after Ryan shot memo and saved his life. Yes, Horatio had always figured that the final showdown with Memmo would involve him, Memmo, and Eric and Horatio would pull the trigger; to avenge Marisol.

But that wasn't even his biggest issue. He had been so wrapped up in the fact that Ryan had shot Memmo and saved his life. He was Lt. Horatio Caine, he saved others, _no one_ saved him! He could take care of himself, couldn't he? Apparently not. He couldn't even keep one lowlife gangster from breaking out of jail and terrorizing the city, Ryan had to go and do that for him. He remembered the shock and the flash of anger that surged through him as he stood over Memmo's dead body, and couldn't help but feel betrayed. Now he felt like kicking himself. Was he really that self-absorbed? Ryan had just saved his life, and all he could think about was that vengeance should have been his.

_Ungrateful._ He remembered the accusation that Ryan had hurled at Eric and him, rightly so. Had he even thanked Ryan for saving his life?

"Horatio."

He looked up. An unwelcome visitor had interrupted his thoughts.

"Rick."

"Have you gotten an update on Wolfe yet?"

"No, not yet."

"Have you spoken to his next of kin?"

"Yes, his parents live in Pensacola and cannot travel, so they turned over all medical decisions to me."

Rick nodded and continued writing. "Ok, well your team is going over the scene with a fine tooth comb." Rick peered at him. "Do you have a change of clothes?"

Horatio looked down. His clothes were covered in blood. Ryan's blood, and so were his hands.

"In the Hummer."

Rick took out his phone. "Hey, is Horatio's hummer still at the crime scene?...He said he has a change of clothes in there….ok, see you then." Rick hung up the phone and turned to Horatio. "Frank is going to bring your change of clothes over. Do you need anything else?"

"Not at this time." Horatio's suspicions were aroused again, as they always were when Rick came around; not to mention that he was still pretty chatty with Frank. What was going on? Horatio was determined to get some answers as soon as he knew how things were going with Ryan.

"Lt. Caine?"

Horatio turned to see a very young man in scrubs and a head cap.

"I'm Dr. David, an intern here. The head surgeon sent me out to update you on Mr. Wolfe's status."

"How is he?" Horatio asked.

"His condition is still critical. He was shot twice. Once in the shoulder, and once in the chest. We've removed the bullet from his shoulder but the one in his chest has presented some complications."

"What type of complications?"

"Sir, the bullet shattered and ruptured his pulmonary artery. We are working to repair the artery and remove all the bullet fragments. He has also lost significant quantities of blood and is in need of a transfusion."

"Do you have his type available?" Rick wanted to know. He had walked up behind Horatio and was listening to the conversation.

"Yes, sir. Ryan is type A positive and we have his type on hand. We just has to be sure that he doesn't bleed out during surgery, and that-" The intern's pager started going off.

"Excuse me, I have to get back. Do you have any questions for the surgeon?"

"Just another update as soon as possible and we need those bullets. They are part of an ongoing investigation into who shot Mr. Wolfe.

"Yes sir." The intern left.

Horatio dialed a Pensacola number. "Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Mrs. Wolfe. I just spoke with one of the surgeons and Ryan is still critical but things are looking well. He will be in surgery all night, but he _will_ pull through."

"Thank you lieutenant. The chaplain is here and we are in prayer."

"As are we. I'll call you as soon as I know more."

_Thank you for all of your reviews, they really keep me inspired!_


	4. Chapter 4

The night passed by, not slowly, but not quickly either. Horatio split his time between getting updates from the surgeons on Ryan's condition and on the phone with Ryan's mother.

Horatio was enjoying his conversations with Mrs. Wolfe; it gave him a chance to learn much about Ryan that he didn't know, and probably never would have; such as why Ryan's parents were the same age as Horatio's would be if they were still alive and Ryan was young enough to be his son.

"Ryan is our only child," Mrs. Wolfe told him during their longest conversation that night, over an hour. "His father and I were high school sweethearts, he proposed to me at the prom. We were married two weeks after graduation. We knew we wanted children, and plenty of them. But it just never happened. After five miscarriages in ten years the doctors finally just gave up. We had resigned ourselves to our fate. Oh true, we loved each other and were very happy, but there was always that void that only children can fill…"

Horatio thought back to his own life. He had only been married once, for a few weeks, and there was no time for children. There wouldn't have been any anyway, considering the fact that she had only a few more months to live, but Memmo and Riaz robbed Horatio of even that.

Then he remembered how he felt when he discovered Kyle. But he never had the pleasure of holding him as a baby, changing his diapers, rocking him to sleep. Julia robbed him of that when she ran off. When he found Kyle he was sixteen, and in the middle of an impossibly rebellious phase that all teenagers go through.

"…and then it happened. After thirty-one years of marriage, I was forty-nine, knocking on the door of menopause. I actually thought that's what it was until I started getting sick. Adam told me to go to the doctor. When she told me I was pregnant I knew it would be the baby we prayed for all those years…" she was tearing up again. Horatio heard a feeble man's voice in the background, calming her down; Ryan's father. He had spoken with him briefly but since he was on oxygen he didn't talk much.

"Ryan was a good boy," Sarah Wolfe continued. "Hardly gave us any trouble. And he knew he wanted to be a policeman. Ever since he discovered _Miami Vice_…"

Horatio looked up. The surgeon's intern was back.

"How is he?" Horatio asked. He got back on the phone. "Mrs. Wolfe, the doctor's out here, I'll talk to you soon."

"Ryan is out of surgery Lt. Caine," the intern reported.

"Can I see him?" Horatio asked.

"Not yet. He's in post-op and we will be moving him to ICU shortly. Once he's settled you can see him, but he's still unconscious, and will probably be out for the next few days, maybe a week."

"Is he in a coma?" Horatio gasped.

"Not exactly a coma, but he is unconscious. But it is the best thing for him now. Ryan needs to conserve his strength to recuperate from his ordeal, the shooting and the surgery. He has a long, painful recovery ahead I'm afraid."

Horatio nodded in agreement. But better than the alternative, another funeral in which he would be in the lead car, wearing his uniform, which he had only donned on formal occasions, such as funerals and commendations. He hadn't been to the policeman's ball in 10 years.

Rick was back, hanging in the background while Horatio spoke with the intern. As they finished up their conversation and the intern made to leave, Horatio spotted a strange look on Rick's face and followed his line of vision. They watched as a small Hispanic woman dressed in blue scrubs made her way down the hall to the ICU unit.

"Hold it!" Rick barked. "You! Come here!" Instead, the woman chose to turn in the other direction and run, and would have succeeded in ducking down a flight of stairs if Rick's shouting hadn't alerted hospital security.

"Stop her!" Horatio ordered the two guards. The two guards made a grab for the woman, but she was small and quick, and tough. She brought her knee up hard into the groin of one officer, and landed a surprisingly hard right hook to the other before she took off. The intern sounded the alarm on the wall and the security guard got on the radio but they were too late, she had disappeared.

"She is a known associate of _Mala Noche_," Rick said, telling Horatio information that he already knew. "Seems they haven't given up on their attempt on Ryan's life yet. We'll have to lock this hospital down."

"And Mr. Wolfe will not leave my sight," Horatio confirmed.

Rick got on the phone. "Yeah it's me…" Horatio could hear Frank in the background, demanding to know what the hell was going on. "…well _Mala Noche_ just sent one of their associates dressed as a nurse to finish Wolfe off. Yeah, we need officers at ever entrance, and could you get with the head of security and check every employee, from the Head Administrator to the lowliest janitor….yeah…"

Horatio took out his cell phone and dialed Eric.

"What's up H? How's Ryan?"

"Ryan's out of surgery and recovering, but we've got a bigger problem. _Mala Noche_ has not ceased their efforts to take Ryan out. They sent one of their girls over here disguised as a nurse. I need our over here with a laptop so we can access the database and identify her."

"I'll be there in thirty H."

"Good."

"You better come and see this Horatio," Rick was saying.

Horatio walked over to the stairwell where the 'nurse' had made her escape. There, laying on the fifth step was a capped syringe.

"One of the security guards spotted it. She must have dropped it while she was escaping."

"Eric's on his way over here Rick. I want to find out what's in that syringe, and the identity of that woman."

"Good. And Wolfe is going to need to be under watch to make sure something like this doesn't happen. He will have to go into protective custody."

"He will be under my protection," Horatio decided firmly, leaving no room for argument, knowing that what he was demanding was against protocol. To his surprise, Rick nodded.

"Alright I'll put in the paperwork." Horatio had decided that he had had enough of this 'nice' Rick at this point. He wanted answers and he wanted them now.

"Rick." Horatio's tone alerted Rick as to what the topic of their impending conversation would be.

"What is it?"

"What is going on? I am not used to this level of cooperation with you. And what is going on with you and Frank?"

"Horatio, you assume that every time I come after you and the lab that it's personal, but it isn't. Well, it was at one time but now it's just my job. I was pissed about you getting the job, and then again about Yelina but after a while I figured out that the hostility I built up was getting me nowhere and was bad for my health. Sufficed to say, I had to let it go."

"Just like that?" Horatio asked, suspiciously.

"No, not 'just like that'. I did end up going to counseling, as you suggested. But that's another story for another time."

"Fair enough. What about you and Frank?"

Rick let out a sigh, as he had been expecting this. "Frank and I have come to an…understanding. I agreed to let him do his job with no 'IA crap' as he put it; and he agreed to lend me his cooperation if I needed it." Rick hoped that was enough to satisfy Horatio. It wasn't.

"Is that all?" Horatio asked.

"I'm sorry Horatio, but that's as far as I can go into it. If you want to know more, you will have to ask Frank."

"I will," Horatio promised. "And in the meantime, be careful Rick."

His tone was even and soft but Rick caught the menace and the meaning behind it. "I will."

**This Chapter is dedicated to Lilo: Hoped this answered your questions. **


	5. Chapter 5

"You recognize anyone?" Eric asked Horatio and Rick. He had a laptop out and they were viewing mug shots of the known female associates of _Mala Noche._

"Yeah her," Rick said, pointing to a mug shot. "I recognize the mole on her face. Above her lip on the left side."

"Alexcia Ruiz," Eric said, pulling up more information.

"Turns out she is a nurse at Dade General; or she was before she was fired last year," Eric added.

"Why was she fired?" Horatio asked.

"Apparently she was blamed for the death of Rodrigo Hoyas, a gunshot victim and rival gang member. He was in stable condition, but after she took his vitals he mysteriously died. Nothing could be proven but the hospital still fired her. They found out about her ties with _Mala Noche_ and they decided to let her go. A week later the head nurse was shot as she was leaving work and the hospital administrator was found strangled in his car in the parking deck."

"I remember that," Horatio recalled. "We questioned her and couldn't tie her to anything." Not adding how irritated he had been when he hadn't been able to make an arrest in the case. He had only recently added it to his cold case file, maybe he could finally nail her for the hospital cases…

What a minute, what was he thinking? He was supposed to be tracking her down in connection with the attempt on Ryan's life, not to add another notch to his belt. Had he always been this self-centered? This was about _Ryan, _not him.

"I'll put out a BOLO," Rick said, taking out his phone.

Horatio's phone rang. It was Walter. "Yes Walter?"

"H, patrol just picked up a woman for reckless driving down the street from the hospital. Her name is Alexcia Ruiz, dressed in blue scrubs, and they ran her records and her driver's license is expired. She's at the station now. I've got a picture of her on my phone I'll send it to you."

"It's coming in now," Horatio said. A picture popped up on the screen of the woman that Horatio and Rick were chasing earlier. "Yes, that's her. Hold her at the station, don't let her leave."

"You got it, H."

Horatio hung up the phone. "Patrol picked her up for speeding and it turns out that her license is suspended. They're holding her at the station. Let's go." Horatio had vowed not to leave this hospital without Ryan, but he had to talk to this woman.

"Eric, I need you to remain here in ICU until I return. Be sure to screen all personnel attending Ryan. I will return soon as I can."

"Sure thing H." Horatio sighed in relief. Above all else, he could always count on his team.

At the station, Horatio was in no mood for games and had no patience.

"Alright Ms. Ruiz, I want to know what you were doing in that hospital right now."

"I don't know what you're-"

"Don't even go there," Rick advised. "We both _saw_ you there, and we'll be adding assault of two security personnel to your charges.

"A misdemeanor," Alexcia countered. "I'll be out on bail in an hour."

"But what will you do then?" Horatio asked, more of a ponder than a question.

"What are you talking about _rojo_?" Alexcia demanded irritably. "And where the hell is my lawyer?"

"I'm sure he's receiving orders from your new boss, Mateo Reyes," Rick answered.

"Yes, I wonder what he's telling him? I'll bet it's to bail you out and drive you straight to Reyes's place. I wonder how he'll feel about your failed mission?" Horatio asked.

For a brief moment, Horatio saw the flash of fear across her face before she tucked it away. "Like I said, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"We found the syringe with the succinylcholine in it," Horatio informed her. "Enough to kill Ryan or at the very least immobilize him while you smother him, just like Rodrigo Hoyas." She flinched at the name.

"So you do remember him?" Rick taunted. "Did _Mala Noche_ pay you well for that assassination? Hope you received extra compensation for losing your job."

"Fuck you! I had nothing to do with that!" Alexcia exclaimed as she leapt out of her seat. "You're just mad because you couldn't pin those on me-" she broke off abruptly at the look on Horatio's face.

"Look here," Horatio growled, leaning in close. "I don't give a damn about who you helped kill in the past. If you come near Ryan again, or if something happens to him I will hold you responsible; and I will hunt you down and make you pay." Horatio finished in a harsh whisper.

Alexcia's eyes grew wide. "Did you hear that?" she demanded to Rick. "He just threatened me!"

"Hear what? I'm sorry I was on a call. I didn't hear Lt. Caine threaten anyone. All I heard was him asking you questions and you refusing to cooperate."

"You son of a-"

"Alright, this party's over. I'm here to post bail for Ms. Ruiz," a high priced attorney for _Mala Noche_ had arrived, and Alexcia was now looking more scared than ever. "Let's go Ms. Ruiz," her lawyer all but ordered. She swallowed hard and followed him out.

Rick turned to Horatio. "Well that was a complete waste of time, but I almost feel sorry for her. Why don't you go on over to the hospital, I'll finish up here."

"Thanks Rick."

"Oh, and I just talked to Frank. He tried to call you but it kept going straight to voicemail. Their screening revealed two orderlies and a janitor who were also _Mala Noche."_

Horatiowasn'tsurprised_. _ "Thank you Rick."

Horatio hurried back over to the hospital. He found Eric outside of the ICU, monitoring Ryan's condition as best he could. He stood up when he saw Horatio.

"Did you get anything out of her?"

Horatio shook his head.

"Not surprised. She's probably scared to death."

Horatio agreed. Normally, he might be concerned for her safety but she had tried to harm Ryan so he felt nothing but contempt for her. "How's Ryan?"

"Still out cold, from what I can tell."

Horatio peeped in and winced inwardly at the number of machines and tubes hooked up to Ryan, as well as the IV's; he was receiving blood as well as other medications.

"Ryan," Horatio said softly.

"Lt. Caine," Horatio turned to greet a tall woman in black scrubs with green aliens all over them.

"I'm Dr. Hanna, the attending physician of the ICU. I've been informed of the special circumstances. We will allow you in the room and two officers outside of his room, as well as two outside the room.

"Thank you Doctor," Horatio answered.

"Also, the surgeon asked me to deliver this two you. He's debriefing with his staff."

She handed him two small baggies, one with an intact hollow point tec-9 round and one with the same type of bullet in many pieces.

"They removed seventeen pieces of shrapnel from Mr. Wolfe's body. They did the first round of X-Rays and did not find any leftover pieces."

"Good."

"You can go in, but you have to shower and change first. We want minimize the risk of infection."

"Of course."

After Horatio Showered and changed into tan scrubs, denoting that he was a visitor, he settled in the recliner they placed in Ryan's room.

"Ryan," he said softly. "You're all right now. I knew you would pull through, you're a fighter. I've been talking to your parents, especially your mother. She sends her love of course. I told her I would take care of you Ryan, and I meant it. You've been taking care of me for these six years that you have been on my team and I didn't even realize it. I'm so sorry Ryan for treating you the way I have. I can't believe how selfish I was, trying to protect myself from being hurt by losing a team member, that's why I tried to keep you at a distance. But it didn't work. I lost Jesse and it hurt, almost as much as when I lost Speed…"

Horatio was rambling, taking the focus off Ryan.

"I'm sorry Ryan. This is about you, not them. I just, I don't know why I didn't connect with you. I…"

Horatio trailed off again. Ryan's eyes were open, and he was staring at Horatio with those beautiful Hazel eyes of his.

**Thank you for all the support of his, all questions will be answered as the story progresses. Feel free to inbox me with a pressing question.**

**Luvs ya!**

**Ng714**


	6. Chapter 6

"Ryan, glad to see you're up. How are you feeling?" Horatio asked, but he received no reply; only Ryan's gaze.

"Ryan, can you hear me? Blink if you can understand what I'm saying," Horatio encouraged, but Ryan didn't blink.

Panic flooded Horatio's gut, making him slightly nauseous. Had Ryan suffered brain damage? Memory loss? He signaled to the nurse.

"Yes Lieutenant?"

"Nurse, Ryan is awake, but not responding to me. Is something wrong?" Horatio wanted to know.

"I will have to notify the doctor. Could you wait outside for a minute?"

Inside the ICU, Ryan found that not only was he in intense agony and his throat and mouth were parched, but the last person on Earth that he wanted to see was staring down at him.

"_Ryan, glad to see you're up. How are you feeling?" _ Yeah right, like he cared. What was he doing here anyway?

"_Ryan can you hear me? Blink if you can understand what I'm saying." _ Of course Ryan could hear him. But he just couldn't talk, or maybe he didn't want to talk. Not to him anyway.

Now a nurse standing over him. "Ryan, can you hear me?"

Ryan opened his mouth to speak but nothing came out. His mouth was dry, so, so, dry. His reply came out as a desperate gasp. The nurse reached for a cup and spooned out a few ice chips and put them into his mouth. His mouth soaked up the cool moisture like a sponge. She put a few more in.

"That better?"

Ryan tried nodding but winced at the pain. "It's ok Ryan, you're doing fine."

The doctor appeared. "Well Ryan we didn't expect you to be awake for a few days yet. I imagine you tired, sore, and thirsty as hell? Blink twice if you agree."

Ryan blinked gratefully. Nodding hurt too much.

"Good, good, do you remember why you're here?"

Ryan remembered that too. The bite, the burning, the searing pain… He blinked twice to acknowledge.

"Were you hit by a car? Blink once for no and twice for yes."

Ryan blinked once.

"Were you shot?"

Ryan blinked twice.

"Did you see who shot you?"

Ryan blinked once.

"You're doing just fine Ryan. Lt Caine and other officers are here with you. They won't leave your side."

Ryan shut his eyes hard. No, not Horatio, not Eric. No MDPD. They had failed him. He had given them almost ten years of service, between being on Patrol and CSI, and had been given nothing but the cold shoulder and a pat on the back in thanks.

"Ryan, are you ok?"

Ryan opened his eyes. He blinked two times.

"Ryan, your parents aren't able to travel down here so they gave Lt. Caine the power to make medical decisions on their behalf. Do you object to this?"

Of course he did. The last person he wanted interfering was Horatio. But he knew his parents couldn't come down, his mom was too fragile, and his dad was not doing well either. So there was no one else. No one except Horatio. Ryan accepted this, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

The doctor was an intelligent woman, she could pick up on Ryan's reaction when she mentioned the Lieutenant. There was obviously some tension there. Ryan had pretended to be unresponsive to the Lieutenant, but he was alert and responding to her. Did he blame the Lieutenant for what happened to him? She had heard that it was a gang shooting.

"Ryan, I know you're dealing with a lot right now. You're in a great deal of pain, both physically and emotionally. When you're able to communicate verbally, I'll arrange for you to talk to our resident psychiatrist. Are you ok with that?"

Ryan blinked twice. There was no one else who would understand. Everyone else though of Horatio as some kind of superhero. No one else, not even the police shrink, would get it.

"I won't ask about your personal feelings towards Lt. Caine, but are you concerned that he will hurt you or not look out for your best interests?" The doctor asked.

Ryan blinked twice. He knew that Horatio would guard him fiercely, if only to ease his guilty conscience. That would have to do for now, at least until he got out of the hospital.

"Good. I won't tell the Lt. about your current development at this time; you can communicate with him when you're ready."

Ryan thanked her with his eyes. He couldn't smile or nod, or speak.

"We'll leave you to rest." Before they reached the door, the doctor instructed the nurse not to speak to Horatio about what went on in the room, and to direct any questions about his alertness to her. The nurse agreed out loud, but questioned the doctor's decision to herself.

Horatio was on the doctor and nurse as soon as they exited Ryan's room.

"How is he?" Horatio demanded.

"Ryan was awake Lieutenant, but he is still unable to speak, and probably won't be able to for a few more days. He will wake up for a few minutes at a time, but it is very important that he rests and not be pushed to communicate right now, he has suffered significant trauma and is still in serious condition."

"Yes doctor, I understand. But were you able to communicate with you at all, by blinking or some other physical response?" Horatio pressed.

"Right now he is not responding to any stimuli. His body is still in shock," the doctor lied smoothly. "I'll be in to check on him in a half hour. You may go in now, but I reiterate, let him rest."

"Thank you doctor." The doctor nodded and left. Something about the way she glossed over his question about Ryan communicating had Horatio wondering. The doctor definitely knew more than she was saying. But what reason would she have to hold this information back? He studied the nurse, who now refused to meet his eyes. Yes, there was definitely something going on, and he was going to find out what it was.

When the nurse left Eric turned to Horatio. "I get the feeling that they're hiding something H."

"So do I Eric. Find out what it is, I'm going to sit with Ryan."

Horatio entered the ICU room. Ryan's eyes were closed but Horatio could tell by his breathing that he wasn't sleep. What was going on? Was Ryan avoiding him?

Of course, that had to be it. Maybe Ryan was still mad at him for what he overheard earliere. Ryan remembered, and still hadn't forgiven him. Horatio knew that Ryan was highly emotional and took things personally; and he was just now starting to realize how deeply he had hurt the young CSI over the years.

Eric followed the nurse down a short hall and around the corner. She disappeared into a small room and when she emerged Eric was waiting for her.

"Officer Delko-" she began.

"What's going on with Ryan?" Eric cut her off, getting straight to the point.

"You really should talk to the doctor-"

"The doctor is not telling us the whole story," Eric said. "And Horatio wants to know what it is. So spill."

"Officer Delko-"

"Eric," Eric corrected her.

"Eric, I could get into a lot of trouble," she whispered quietly.

"Look, neither of us will say anything, we swear. But we need to know what's going on."

"He is responding," the nurse admitted. "He can't talk but he responds by blinking."

"Does he remember anything about the shooting?" Eric wanted to know.

"He remembers being shot but doesn't know who shot him." Eric nodded.

"Ok, what about H? Why won't Ryan talk to him?"

"I don't know," the nurse admitted. "Whenever the doctor mentioned the lieutenant Ryan shut his eyes tight, and got very tense," the nurse added. "I think he's upset with the lieutenant. Look, this is as far as I go. I could get into a lot of trouble for what I told you. The doctor wanted to protect Ryan's privacy and she said that Ryan would communicate with the lieutenant when he was ready."

Eric nodded. "Thanks, and don't worry, this stays between us."

Horatio was watching Ryan, he had finally fallen asleep, for real this time. He turned when he heard Eric at the door. Horatio stepped outside of the door and closed it. They made sure the doctor was out of sight before talking.

"Ryan can communicate," Eric reported. "He remembers being shot but not who did it. But as far as you…" Eric hesitated.

"Go on," Horatio encouraged.

"I guess he's still upset. The nurse said he got tense when the doctor mentioned you, and shut his eyes tight."

Horatio was silent for a long moment. "I see," he said finally.

"I'm sure he's pissed at me too. I made a total ass of myself H. All because it was him that took out Memmo and saved your life and not me. You think he will ever forgive me…us?" Eric asked.

"I don't know Eric, but I sure hope so."

**Thank you so much for the reviews and support!**


	7. Chapter 7

Eric had returned to his post outside the door and Horatio had settled back into the chair to keep watch over Ryan. Horatio's phone vibrated. He checked the caller ID before preparing to send it to voice mail. It was Frank, so he decided to answer. He stepped outside of the room.

"Frank?"

"Yeah it's me. I know you're staying with Wolfe but we have a serious situation here."

What is it Frank?" Horatio asked.

"That girl Alexcia Ruiz was just found dead in her car in a hotel parking deck. Looks like she's been strangled from behind. Also, her right hand has been crushed. Looks like it was slammed in a car door."

"Interesting…" Horatio mused out loud.

"What are you thinking? Punishment for a failed mission?"

"Possibly, or it could be a message; or perhaps both. I'm sending Eric out there. Keep me posted."

"Will do."

"What's going on H?" Eric asked as soon as Horatio hung up.

"It appears, Eric, that Ms. Ruiz has been murdered. Found dead in her car, strangled with her right hand crushed."

Eric shook his head sadly. "Can't say I didn't expect it."

"I agree. The look she gave Rick and me as she left with _Mala Noche's _head attorney said it all. But we gave her a chance to help herself; she didn't take it." Horatio, normally sympathetic of most murder victims regardless of their past, couldn't muster up any sympathy for the woman who tried to end Ryan's life.

"In any case, I want you on the crime scene. Leave me your iPad and use mine to send me pictures and other information. Keep me posted. I'm going to stay here with Ryan."

"Will do." Eric was slightly surprised by Horatio's determination to stay with Ryan. He knew Horatio felt responsible for Ryan being here but Horatio was never absent from a major crime scene, especially when it was linked to the shooting of a police officer.

When Eric left, Horatio went back into Ryan's room with the iPad and used it to review all the information they had on the case. He was confident that Mateo Reyes would slip up and end up getting killed, either by a rival potential leader for _Mala Noche_ or by Horatio himself. Horatio would have liked nothing more than to put a bullet in Reyes' temple. In fact, he was now so determined. Reyes would pay for what he did to Ryan with his life.

The night passed by slowly. Eric sent photos of the crime scene periodically. The sight of Alexcia Ruiz's face blue with asphyxiation and her mangled right hand disturbed Horatio, but not as much as the giant hole in Ryan's chest had. He kept reminding himself of that. The nurse came in periodically to check on Ryan and instructed Horatio to inform her if Ryan woke up again.

Ryan did wake up early the next afternoon. Horatio had felt Ryan's eyes on him. He looked up to see Ryan's beautiful hazel eyes focused on him. Horatio remembered what the nurse had instructed him to do. But there was something he had to do first.

"Ryan," Horatio said, moving closer. "I want you to know that I'm so sorry for what happened. This is my fault. My pride and selfishness got us into this, but I promise to protect you with my life, just as you protected me with yours. And I don't know if I ever thanked you but thank you Ryan. Thank you for…for saving my life. I've taken you for granted for all of these years…" Horatio trailed off he was talking Ryan's ear off and he looked slightly groggy.

"Ryan, are you with me? Blink if you are." Horatio's stomach fluttered. Was Ryan still upset with him?

Slowly, Ryan blinked his eyes. Horatio's heart soared.

"Ryan, I know we have a long way to go to mend our…our…" What was it? Horatio supposed it could be viewed as a relationship. "…relationship but I want you to know that I'm sorry about my part in all this and I wanted to thank you for saving my life."

Ryan blinked again. He moved his lips. They were so dry. Horatio located a cup of ice and placed a few chips into his mouth. "Is that better?" Ryan blinked gratefully. "Good. I'm going to get the nurse now." Horatio looked up to see the nurse standing in the doorway. He had no idea how long she had been there.

"I see Ryan is awake," the nurse said, coming over the check Ryan's vitals. "Your blood pressure is still a little low, but otherwise you are recovering nicely Ryan." You should be able to leave ICU later this week. I'll get the doctor."

When the nurse stepped out Horatio gave Ryan's hand a reassuring squeeze. He noticed that his skin was cracked and dry, very dry, especially around his lips.

Horatio exited the room and waited for the doctor to finish checking Ryan. "Doctor?" He said when she came out. "How's Ryan?"

"Still very weak," she confirmed, "Which is to be expected considering the amount of blood he lost and the major surgery. He is currently being fed intravenously but he will require more nutrition. We will be inserting a feeding tube later today."

Horatio winced. Inserting the tube was never pleasant.

"Other than that, he is doing well."

"Doctor, about his skin." The doctor nodded.

"Since we are mainly giving him carbohydrates and proteins, his skin is not getting the essential lipids it needs to stay moist and healthy."

"Do you have something that can help? Lanolin perhaps?" Horatio had used lanolin before and he knew it was used by nursing mothers.

The doctor smiled "I'll find some."

When Horatio entered the room again, Ryan was asleep. As Horatio settled down in the chair, his weariness settled upon him. It had been days since he had slept, showered, or had a decent meal. Horatio wanted to stay by Ryan's side constantly, but he knew he had to take care of himself in order to be there for Ryan. He check his watch; it was 1:30. He had instructed Eric to go home and get a good night's sleep before heading to the lab. He dialed his number.

"What's up H?"

"Eric where are you?"

"Headed to the lab. Slept in, just like you said."

"Good. Do you mind coming over here with Ryan while I go home for a few hours?"

"No problem H. I was going to call you and suggest that."

When Horatio left the hospital, he stopped at a local restaurant and ate a good meal, surprised at how hungry he was and didn't realize it. He would definitely have to eat more. When got home he took a long shower and climbed under his covers for a short nap, or so he thought. , Horatio ended up sleeping for almost seven hours. When he awoke, the sun was just setting. He was anxious to get back to Ryan so he dressed quickly and fixed himself a quick meal. As he pulled out of the driveway, he noticed a dark SUV pull up behind him. He was just able to duck down as the first shot was fired.

The first bullet lodged in the windshield of the Hummer but didn't break it. It was bulletproof, but now the windshield was compromised. Horatio opened the door and jumped out and crouched, seemingly oblivious the shower of bullets. Horatio aimed low at the gas tank of the full size SUV and fired two shots into the gas tank, setting the car up in flames. orati

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